1. Standard fries with Lawry's seasoning salt: A classic through-and-through. The simplicity of the fries paired with the complexity of the seasoning salt makes this the true winner in the fry world. Note: this is different from "seasoned fries", which are masquerading as these fries but are actually poison.
2. Tater tots: The breakfast fry of choice. Even though these fries are basically just reconstituted potato cylinders, they have a certain charm at 7:30am.
3. Steak fries: An unpopular opinion, but a good choice nonetheless. The starchiness of these fries are unique in the fry world and are worthy of more love than they are given.
4. Crinkle cut fries: A good pairing for a dipping sauce, but not worth it on their own. A fry to consider.
5. Home fries: A nice substitute for tater tots at breakfast. Their lack of true breading is because they are usually accompanied by nice seasoning and parsley.
6. Sweet potato fries: OK, but not something you would choose over any other type of fry mentioned above. Their sweetness is kind of strange and it feels like they are used to make a dish more ~fancy~ when another type of fry might have been a better choice.
7. Waffle fries: Highly overrated. They always have some weird seasoning going on and they aren't easily dippible and they are hard to hold. Pass.
8. Curly fries: Similar to waffle fries in that they usually have some weird seasoning and are too difficult to deal with. They're usually over fried and you get like, 3 curly fries in one serving. A total waste of a fry order.
9. Shoe string fries: What even are these? Why?
10. Diner fries: These are the bane of the fry existence. They are SO disgusting and they tempt you with the offer of "_____ with fries!!!!" but then are janky root vegetables double-covered in poison, to paraphrase Danny. Their grossness stems from the fact that they are double-fried and are usually done so poorly. Usually served slightly cold and a mix of soggy and stiff, these fries should be avoided at all costs.
Honorable mentions
Poutine
Smiley face fries
Truffle fries
You don't deserve the deliciousness that are curly fries.
ReplyDeleteYou are wrong about tater tots being fries but this is an excellent post
ReplyDelete1) the benefit of waffle fries is that they can hold a lot of dip, like isn't that literally why they were invented
ReplyDelete2) you are the only person who finds waffle fries "hard to hold" (i assume it's related to your tiny hands)