Act I, Scene V: Stick to the Status Quo

Wh .. what’s … what’s HAPPENING?!?!?!

WHY IS EVERYONE STANDING ON TABLES? NOW THEY ARE SINGING?

Heh heh a-saw dude

I’m scared. Help me.

Now they are all revealing things about themselves. This is either the song Stick to the Status Quo from High School Musical, Fratty at the Ratty, or a secret attempt to start a flash mob that will allow us to steal a table from the Rattie [sic]. Zeke can bake crème brûlée!?!?! I wonder what other secret abilities people are holding within.

Which brings us to our question of the hour … What’s your secret ability that you would have revealed in the status quo song?

Zack: When I was in elementary school I hit my growth spurt early and so I was really good at basketball because I would just stand under the hoop and shoot layups all the time.
Isabela: I have the iconic 2007 Magic Bullet infomercial memorized. (It’s the personal, versatile, countertop magician!!) http://www.infomercial-hell.com/magic-bullet/ I also led a cult in the 3rd grade; we worshipped a stress ball. We had a regular newsletter and raised funds (rock dust currency and mulch).
Kellan: I would love to know how to juggle.
SamFA: Taking shots out of an apple (foreshadowing)
Sean: I’m superhero Billy from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy who shoots yogurt from his armpits.
Mark: I would simply tell everyone, “How dare you.”
Tim: I share my gifts with the world.
Caroline: I can sing Katy Perry’s Firework in Latin.
Charles: AP Economics...apparently.
Christie: People in high school were surprised that I could rap. But only to “96,000” from In The Heights.
Gaby: I can burp the alphabet. And anything else really.
Shane: I can telepathically communicate with dogs.
Tracy: Oh I got one: I feel like my secret abilities are exactly what you would think my secret abilities are. I once took a humanities class and also I once took a math class I didn’t like.

No, dude, it's like a giant violin!